Speaking Less, Inspiring More
Speaking Less, Inspiring More – A Waldorf Approach to Gentle Guidance
“Children learn best by imitation, not instruction.” – Rudolf Steiner
One of the most profound shifts in parenting—and one that is echoed in both Waldorf education and our current book club read Hunt, Gather, Parent—is the realization that less talking leads to more learning.
Why Less Talking Creates More Peace and Learning
Modern parenting often relies on words: explaining, directing, reasoning. But in many indigenous cultures, as well as in Waldorf settings, parents and teachers use minimal verbal instruction for children of all ages. Instead, they model behavior and allow children to absorb through experience.
This approach fosters:
Greater independence – When we avoid micromanaging, children learn to observe and problem-solve.
Deeper concentration – Too many words disrupt focus. When we let children watch rather than hear, they engage more fully.
A calmer atmosphere – Fewer words mean fewer power struggles, less resistance, and more connection.
How to Speak Less and Guide More
Use gesture and action – Instead of saying, “Put your shoes on,” simply hand your child their shoes and start putting on yours. Or for the very little ones, make eye contact, hold up the shoe and tap the foot you are going to put it on. Silently inviting their participation.
Trust silent cues – Walk toward the door instead of announcing, “Time to go.”, set the table and light a candle instead of saying “its dinner time, come to the table”
Lead with rhythm – When routines are predictable, fewer reminders are needed. A morning song signals getting dressed, an evening bath signals that bedtime is coming next.
A Simple Challenge for the Week
Try cutting your verbal instructions in half. Observe what happens when you replace words with presence and example. You might be surprised at how capable your child is, and how peaceful you feel!
Read more about this approach in Hunt, Gather, Parent, as well as in our parent-child classes at the farm!
